I’ll be honest, Underhyped is desperate for a job. We’ve been applying to four jobs a day off Craigslist for the past month and have gotten absolutely nowhere, except that now our savings is well below the four figure mark, and Underhyped’s lease runs out at the end of August. Where will Underhyped get the money to finance this move?!

If we’re really lucky, maybe we’ll have some luck getting hired as Personal/Administrative Assistant to Zoe Alexander. Renowned for her work as former EDITOR AT LARGE of gossip juggernaut Life & Style, Zoe is now scouring LA for Hollywood’s best and brightest assistant.

Frankly, if Underhyped thought we had a chance of getting this job, we’d never post it for all of you to see and risk upsetting dear Zoe. Unfortunately for us, we lack the criteria necessary to go “straight to the top of the pile,” including but not limited to (bold is ours):

• Have fluency in French is a plus.
• Have tennis skills.
• Have golf skills.
• Ability to research, resourcefulness, boldness. (In other words, you’ll need to get that Polish woodworker to recommend a proper carpenter, and follow leads till you find the right person. Then deal with them to get the task done.)

Ok, Zoe, we get it. Jesus, I really think Underhyped could have made a great assistant, too - I guess it’s back to the workbench to pointlessly toil away on our designs for an all-sausage dream home.

• Personal/Administrative Assistant [Craigslist LA]
• Give Underhyped a job: underhyped [AT] gmail.com