I’m logging footage for a reality television vehicle for Ted Nugent called Wanted: Ted or Alive (or What Happens When Reality Television Stops Being Nice and Starts Acting Nuge). E.T. (the Extra Terrestrial) sneaks into the Nuge’s attic, where there are two rifles. E.T. takes one of the rifles and crawls into the heating ducts. After a short crawl, E.T. is looking out of a register near the ceiling of one of the rooms in Ted Nugent’s house. E.T. takes aim at Ted Nugent’s right-hand man standing below the register and fires. E.T. kills the man.

But now the Nuge is aware of E.T.’s hostile presence. E.T. jumps out of the heating duct. The Nuge has grabbed a rifle and is in pursuit of E.T., who is running from the Nuge. E.T. is cornered in a room with no exit. The Nuge stands at one end of the room and fires at E.T. E.T., facing the Nuge, shuffles back and forth against the far wall of the room in an attempt to avoid the Nuge’s shower of bullets. Amazingly, the Nuge misses E.T. with every shot.

Of course I think, Bullshit. The Nuge is a crack shot. He would never miss E.T. with a rifle from that range.

Breaking news on the Michael Jackson front—a recent article in a German newspaper reports that Joe Jackson has announced that his son Michael will soon be moving to Germany. From Reuters:

“Michael Jackson is going to become a Berliner!” Bild wrote on top of its front page. “His father is already looking for a house. The King of Pop wants to move to Berlin — his father tells Bild in an interview.”

Another German newspaper, Die Welt, quoted an adviser named Shawn Andrews as saying Jackson definitely wanted to move to Europe because he felt he was being poorly treated at home and that he was also suffering from the after-effects of his trial.

“Michael wants to move to Europe,” Andrews said. “He is positive about that. He feels at home in Berlin.

“No one in Germany ever let him down during the trial,” he said. “Michael himself can’t explain why he’s fallen so deeply in love with Berlin.”

While Underhyped doesn’t doubt that those strange Europeans across the way may treat Michael with more unconditional love than we fickle Americans (apparently one condition we require is a semblance of sanity), we’re not so convinced that Michael’s motivations have are quite so obvious. In an Underhyped exclusive, we’ve got a PHOTO that might shed a little light on his real reasons for choosing Germany… after the jump!

MORE… Michael Jackson Leaving U.S. - Chocolate Eating Germans More Accepting [EXCLUSIVE PHOTO]