According to secret Underhyped sources, Paula Abdul may be nixed from next season’s American Idol, to be replaced by either Whitney Houston or the recently emancipated Mimi.

While the replacements certainly are news to us, Underhyped has been heralding the end of Paula’s reign on American Idol among friends for months now. Unfortunately, if the rumors are to be believed, the folks at AI are looking to repeat the same mistake.

Paula was well past her prime this season, showing off her own unique blend of drugged out and crazy the entire season, talking over and interrupting Simon every time judgments were passed down. So naturally, the best replacement for Paula would be one of two other mentally unstable women who may very well prove as annoying as Paula did this season. Bully for you, AI!

And you were once so savvy.

• Whitney Plays Judge
• Idol to Replace Paula Abdul with Whitney Houston? Do it!

Below, Underhyped will try its first point-counterpoint following the now-infamous Tom Cruise facial. Just see if you can stay impartial!

TO CRUISE

It was incredibly rude. It really was. I would get angry if I were Tom Cruise. Though apparently, recently anyway, Tom Cruise is more emotional than my teenage sister – full of extreme ups and downs – that’s no excuse to squirt him in the face with water!

Actually, had this happened six months ago to Cruise, it would have been a blip and he probably would have treated it as such. Lately, Cruise has been severely picked on by the media about his relationships, religious beliefs, and other aspects of his personal life. You may say that Cruise brought this on himself by being so open to the public and that a little backlash is inevitable. You may also say that he is a publicity monger, and that his relationship is as contrived as that famous laugh he does. You may say his religious beliefs are taking over his professional career. You may even say he is a little weird. You may say that I should have ten more “You may says� considering his behavior as of late – but I don’t. Here’s why…

MORE… Underhyped Goes on Cruise Control

Fofao!

Every so often, we at Underhyped like to change things up a bit and showcase celebrities and personalities from around the globe. Today’s guest, and Underhyped’s first, is Fofao, origin unknown (but possibly Portuguese?). (If you look at our header, you will see his famous mug!) Though we love Fofao, we would rather enjoy him as the enigma he is instead of pursuing a laborious Internet search to find out more about everybody’s lovable pig-faced person (?). All we do know is that Fofao says hello and that he loves you and you should buy his album (yes, album).

So, me and my associate, Mr. Adam, have finally found our place in Southern California only to be barraged with earthquakes and the voice of Maria Shriver, wife of our governor, alerting us to buy a earthquake care package. That being said - LA is scary on so many levels - but still, we LOVE it here!

Anyway, as part of the Underhyped.com team, we are obliged to look at the annals of culture that seem so overhyped in order to either bring them down a peg, realize - SHOCK - that those works of art are actually works of art(!), or just realize we had our panties in a twist and shrug our shoulders. We really aren’t talking about films like “Batman Returns” either. That brand of overhypedness is bought and paid for - and hardly anyone is fooled. But there are other films that are more subversive elements within our culture. They slip into our vernacular so imperceptibly that one day we realize they are sleeping in our bed with us (kind of like spiders or bed bugs or heart-shaped “hug me” pillows). They are supposedly sleeper hits that mean something to us or are somehow relevant to our lives. As VIPW (Very Important People of the Web), we feel it is our duty to analyze and judge and criticize.

So - drumroll - we are going to review the importance of Garden State and Napoleon Dynamite on our everyday lives. These films came out in 2004 - but as sleeper hits, they have continued to reverberate (kind of like a magnitude 4.9 earthquake) in our lives through 2005. Me and my associate - ahem, my associate and I - have been holdouts, refusing to join the masses, until after enough self-imposed alienation, we watched them last night.

MORE… The State of Garden v. Napoleon Dynamite

To our readers - who are probably as yet nonexistent - here is the post you have all been waiting for! We still are not done with our site, but why should you doggedly visit our site ten times a day and not see any new content!? We feel the same way. (I personally hate it when nobody sends in any pictures to Awfulplasticsurgery.com for weeks - even though I persist in checking it twice daily. There, progress - we are relating to each other! A true writer-reader bond!) Anyway…

My assistant called me up this morning and was shouting in my ear about Sinead O’ Connor shaving off all of her hair. Known for her beautiful locks and for starring as the object of every postpubescent male’s affection in her movie roles as a child, Sinead has gone the distance and has cut all of her hair off for a movie role. Dedication. D-E-D-I-C-A-T-I-O-N. No other way to put it.

On another note, Sinead bears a striking resemblence to Irish singer/songwriter Natalie Portman, most known for abusing the Pope on TV.